The Cougar Phenomenon By: Sarah Gbadebo In our society we are bombarded with images that reflect our cultural norms. We simulate these images in an effort to perform the roles for which our culture proscribes. In effect, we continue to fuel an endless feedback loop of reinforcing gendered roles. One endearing component of our societal norms, also evident in a majority of cultures, are the power structures that define and reinforce gender roles that place men as the providers and protectors over women, and women as the nurturers. These power structures observed in our society, that define what is appropriate for our gender, are directly challenged in this new phenomenon of what we call The Cougars, or rather, older women seeking younger men for romantic relationships. By analyzing this new emergence in popular culture we can further illuminate the meaning, significance and affect that this change has in our society. Before delving into the significance that the term Cougar plays in our popular culture I find it best to clarify the actual definition of the Cougar and why it is used in our society to classify this particular type of relationship. A Cougar is a large cat in the Felidae family, and is also known as a panther or mountain lion. The Cougar is characterized by its predator-like tendency to stalk and ambush its prey. Therefore, when the word cougar is applied to the human species, and a woman is compared to a cougar, this implies a negative predator-like tendency in her seeking out younger men, or rather, "stalking her prey". Clearly, this label reflects society's negative perception of women who engage in such relationships. Some can even assume that since there is no such name associated with an older man seeking relationships with younger women, when the roles are switched society perceives something unnatural, and predator-like of women who assume the male role by performing sexuality and gender in a way that is only appropriate for, and expected of men. Inherent in the term Cougar, and in choosing this particular word to classify a woman based on her sexual preference, is a bias. Clearly, the term Cougars only acknowledges the subjects attraction to men, as she is on the prowl for her prey. It does not consider the young man who also deviates from the cultural norm, in his basic sexual attraction towards a much older woman, whose sex role does not allow her to be desirable or sexually attractive due to her age. The mutual attraction between the older woman and the younger man is virtually ignored, obscuring the notion that beauty is subjective, and the basic truth that you do not have to be young to be desired, or to be attractive. Infiltrating the main stream media, and embedding itself in our popular culture, we are witnessing an emergence of new gendered roles that deviate from the cultural norm. Throughout most of our history it has always been acceptable and even expected for older men to seek out younger women. Now, in direct opposition to our cultural standard, and in fact, creating much cognitive dissonance within our culture, older women are assuming this constructed male sex role, and rejecting the maternal role assigned to older women which implies that past a certain age they can not engage in, or display certain behaviors typical of men. A great example where an older woman engages in Cougar behavior in our popular culture is in a short clip of VH1's reality television show, Brooke Knows Best- a show in which Brooke's life is put on display. In this particular clip Brooke's mother, Linda, has an ongoing relationship with a nineteen year old boy named Charlie. Brooke resents her mother's relationship and feels betrayed that her mother, who is approximately forty- eight years old, is dating a boy who is nearly Brooke's age. In this clip it is evident that Linda's behavior is received a as taboo, and as an impious act not suitable for her age, and not appropriate for her role as a mother. The deviance associated with being a Cougar runs so deep in our cultural roots to the extent that on this reality show Brooke refuses to accept her mother's decision, and distances herself from her own mother. Suffice to say, this is indeed a television show, and perhaps the real reactions are scripted. However, even in my observations of many viewers of this show and this particular clip, outrage is the common response to Linda's relationship with the young boy. Now, in our historical acceptance of young women engaging in romantic relationships with much older men, I wonder why this profound outrage was virtually non-existent. The double standard evident in an older woman's relationship with a younger man verses an older man's relationship with a younger women brings to the forefront the discussion of the cultural binary views of the two genders. Characteristic of the male species, or rather, how we perceive the males species, and therefore, how older men perform the gender role assigned to them centers on the idea that men stay youthfully immature, sexually active and sexually driven in pursuit of young women. On the contrary, older women are perceived as, and tend to conform to the assumption that with age women grow less sexually active, less sexually attractive, and more focused on maternal duties. Moreover, the hierarchal value system of the genders, which places a women's value in her beauty and ability to attract a mate, and the males value on his assets, ability to protect and provide her serve as a significant aspect of the binary views of gender. For, if youth is a quality of beauty in our society, and a women's value is based primarily upon her beauty, how then can she be valued with age? This concept only serves to put a time limit on a woman's sexuality, and her options of mates to choose from, as her value diminishes with age. Furthermore, if a man's value is based solely on his income, as long as he can provide for a woman he is valued, and therefore he has an indefinite number of potential mates, and is not limited to women his own age because his value is observed by both young and old. Therein creates a major crisis for older women when older men are choosing younger women, and older women are culturally prohibited by the gender roles assigned to them, from choosing younger men. Their gender role serves to limit older women to many possibilities that their male counterparts can enjoy. Therefore, with the emergence of the Cougar Phenomena, these power structures are brutally challenged, re-creating our socially constructed views. In direct response to the inequalities of our cultural notions of gender comes the Cougar, a term that deviates from the cultural norm. It is the women who choose to step into the so called man's role, acknowledging that culture does not determine beauty and value, and rather, that the individual who holds agency of choice, has the power to affect culture (Pierre Bourdieu) In effect, that is exactly what the new phenomenon of The Cougars has done in our popular culture. The age of the Cougar defies the very foundation on which our gender roles rest, claiming value as equal to that of a man by expressing their sexuality, sexual attraction and sexual attractiveness in the face of a society that says these attributes do not belong to women who are past a certain age. Women are in fact taking back their power.
